The Pitfalls of Online Dating

It seems like so many couples I now know have met over online dating. When I ask them which service, ninety percent say with match.com. It feels like with today’s busy lifestyles, more and more people are resorting to this service. However, my experiences with online dating were horrible. If I can save even one woman or man from the pitfalls, I will be happy.

I had been in a horrible marriage for thirty two years. I was verbally abused, controlled and manipulated. I was made to feel worthless. I finally found the courage to break free. While we were separated, I was told by my ex that he would give me one year to come to my senses, then after that he would start dating. During that time, there was never one moment where he tried to take me out for coffee or dinner to just talk. During that year, I began to breathe. I did not think for one minute that I wanted to start dating or even look at another man. I needed time to be able to breathe and try to heal.

However, after one year, my ex calls me to tell me that he had gone to a dating service. He said he had roughly twenty women lined up to meet him. He picked out three potentials, then managed to settle with one woman. After the conversation, I hung up the phone and decided that I did not need to talk to him ever again. Like what happened to seeing if there is an attraction? What about trying to find that person that will connect with you?

Then I realized that I just wasn’t good enough. No man has ever, or would ever, look at me. I mean, my ex never complimented me. Never said I looked good. Never said anything positive about me. So it must be me, right? I would be alone for the rest of my life. When all I ever wanted was a man who loved me for me.

I searched out online dating websites and the first one I went to was ChristianMingle.com. At that time, I could sign up for free. However, your access was limited so I signed up for a monthly account. I was pretty active and I tried to fill out my details as much as possible. I mean, I thought I was safe on a Christian based dating site. I set out details for men that I would be interested in.

Got some bites pretty quickly. The first one was a sergeant in the US Military who was divorced. He wanted to know my personal email. Big mistake. Don’t give that out to anyone ever. There is an email account with the dating website where you can send and receive emails and you can do online chats. I didn’t give my email address out for this guy because I was wondering about him being in the military. Apparently, he was in Saudi Arabia.

I googled his name and it did come up. The news article that I found was maybe six months old. The article definitely said he was married with one son. During our emails, he said his son had died and he was divorced. I asked him how long he was divorced. I told him I found a news article from six months ago which said he was married. He ranted, actually ranted, about how news reporters were getting their facts all messed up and they lied about everything.

I had a friend and her husband who were living with me at the time, He was in the army perhaps fifteen to twenty years ago. He told me that when a person is on tour, you cannot participate in online dating sites. Especially when you are on tour. I asked this sergeant about what he was doing in Saudi Arabia. He suddenly shut down and said he had to go out on watch, or some other thing.

I admit it that I did try to mess with the guy as I knew he was a con artist. Every time he contacted me, I would ask questions that I knew he wouldn’t be able to answer. I found a number of articles on this sergeant and I would ask him things about the article, which this dumb bum couldn’t answer. Finally, I had enough and told him I would be reporting him to the website and said better luck next time. He ranted something fierce but I cut him off. I reported him and they quickly closed his account down.

This dummie was easy to figure out. Unfortunately, this was not the last experience with a con man. I had quite a few that I will share with you in the next blog. As I said, if I can save one person from doing some of the stupid things I did, I will be grateful.

Published by

sylviagoblet1

I am a Canadian living in the Carolinas. I truly feel at home in the Carolinas. I don't know what it is about the south but sitting amongst friends and their southern drawl gives a sense of peace. A sense of calm that I haven't had before. Writing has been a way of life since I was a teenager. But it has been a struggle until now. God has touched me in a way that has had a profound effect on me. My determination and desire to write is now deep within. A writer is someone who is always willing to listen, absorb and learn. The learning curve is never ending. One is never too old or too experienced to learn. Everyone has had life touch them in many different ways. Every person has a story within them. One may choose to turn away from their faith from life experiences or one may choose to lean towards God. Those are the stories I wish to share.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *