Still Have Hair – My Cancer Journey

Meet Krickett. At least that is what Bill has called my blonde wig. I have to ask him what the auburn wig’s name is.

I still have hair. But for the last three days, after I shower and I comb out my wet hair, there are strands of my hair in the comb. The first day was not so bad. The second day, a little more. When I brushed my hair last night, there was a lot of my hair in the brush.

This morning, after my shower, there was more hair in the comb. I piled it up and left it beside Bill’s sink. It doesn’t hurt as it is coming out. I looked at myself in the mirror. I haven’t really liked my hair. It has always been fine. I was told that there was a lot of it but it is fine. I don’t know why I haven’t liked my hair. We, as women, always wish we could have different hair.

I have been told that when my hair comes back, it will come back differently. So I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how I will react when I see me with no hair. Bald. What will my skin look like? How will it feel? Even though I am trying not to let it bother me, I know it will bother me.

There is so much emotion wrapped into a woman’s hair. Men are more attracted to women with long hair. Hair that is long and free and blowing in the wind. You can hide behind your hair. It is a part of you. Rapunzel had tremendously long tresses. Medusa’s was made up of snakes. But still long. How many people take much time describing a woman’s short hair?  Hair is sensuous and, so with it, a woman is sexy with flowing, long hair. How sexy is a bald woman?

I have already a slightly deformed breast with my lumpectomy and soon I will no longer have any hair. I am getting older and things are not holding up as well as they did when I was younger. And I just got married this year. So my self image has taken a dive. No matter how determined I am or how many times I am told I am beautiful, those words do not really register with the “I have a slightly dimpled scar on my breast and I will no longer have hair”.

It will take time to work through all the emotions. It will take a few good cries. But it is not easy. I wish people would remember that. Not quickly say, don’t worry, don’t stress. Let those of us who are going through this mourn the losses. Let us take our time. Just love us and say you can’t imagine but that you will try to understand.

Published by

sylviagoblet1

I am a Canadian living in the Carolinas. I truly feel at home in the Carolinas. I don't know what it is about the south but sitting amongst friends and their southern drawl gives a sense of peace. A sense of calm that I haven't had before. Writing has been a way of life since I was a teenager. But it has been a struggle until now. God has touched me in a way that has had a profound effect on me. My determination and desire to write is now deep within. A writer is someone who is always willing to listen, absorb and learn. The learning curve is never ending. One is never too old or too experienced to learn. Everyone has had life touch them in many different ways. Every person has a story within them. One may choose to turn away from their faith from life experiences or one may choose to lean towards God. Those are the stories I wish to share.

2 thoughts on “Still Have Hair – My Cancer Journey”

  1. I admire the useful facts you offer inside your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and also have my children verify up here often. I’m very sure they’ll learn a lot of new things right here than anybody else!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *